The Key to Live Your Life.

Picture : Sunsuke Iwata

Picture : Sunsuke Iwata

Life without an addiction would be nonsense. — @adimasnuel


I’ve got that quote from twitter and that still makes me think about my life, what’s my addiction now? by the way you should follow him, I guess he’s one of my twitter crush because I Iove his words, bahkan sejak twitter masih lucu-lucunya dulu. Okay, I don’t wanna talk about that here, I want to talk about life.

It’s the earlier of 2017, and I’m 25 years old. So many things happen in my life last year. I’m blessed for everything; experience, laugh, love, cry, the new perspective, the new lessons, new family, new friends. But the one thing that I realized, I was losing something inside me, and I want to find it again. Sometimes I feel like zombie. I’m empty, just breathing. Then I found that quote on twitter and I asked myself, what’s my addiction? I cannot answer.

Addiction? What’s the addiction? Is that something make you feel alive? What’s that? Dreams? The purpose of life? The vision for the next five or ten years?

Well, I have dreams. I have many things I want to get and many things to do in my dream book. And I always go with that in my bag. I want to travel the world, especialy United Kingdom and Japan on my top list. I want to have my own dream house with the beautiful garden and the cozy library, I want to drive my own Mini Cooper, etc.

The purpose of my life is my family. We want to make our family to feel happy. My mentors always said that we should make it with the details. All of the parent is easy to be happy, when their children grow up and have the moment to talk and eat together with them that can bring the happiness too. So how the way you make them feel happy? I want to give the best to them, like give best accommodation when their go to mecca, buy new house, and can get married with our own money.

I have the dreams, the purpose, and the vision, so why I still can’t feel the addiction, still feel empty inside me. Why? I forgot to love myself.

I realized that love yourself is very important to live our life. It’s not selfish. When you love yourself, you can be yourself. No one teach me about that before. Everybody around me always remind me, but never teach me how to love myself. Our society always say to be ourselves but then they judge us when we’re totally different. It is so confusing for me. Sick society.  So many things happen to me and I realized that we only can be ourselves when we love ourselves.

We always hear an advice from someone or the people around us to believe yourself. Believe in yourself is important too, because no one can believe in you if you don’t believe with yourself. Then I ask myself that am I believe enough with myself? Yeah I believe I can do this and that. But maybe I wasn’t trully believe in myself. You can’t trully believe with yourself when you don’t trully love yourself.

When you love yourself, you will accept everything in you, include your mistake in the past. You’re being honest with yourself. You will get the inner peace. Then you will be free, you will feel free. Feel free to do what you love, and love what you do. You will totally live your life. You will love everything around you and enjoy it. The winds, the weather, all the people around you, the failure, the achievement, smile and talk with strangers. And then you will be suprised what will happen in your live.

You must have big dreams, the vision and the purpose in your life. But love yourself first. It’s the key to live your life. Love yourself and you will get the addiciton in your life. The addiction to do the best, because you really want to give the best in every little moments, and then you will be trully live and love your life.

Why Are You Here Today?

Your purpose is not one thing.

There is not one, specific definable thing you are “meant” to do with your life.

Your specific set of skills, preferences, circumstances and natural abilities will pave a fate for you. You are your own destiny. Your path is built into you.

But you are not having the full experience of your life if you’re only trying to figure out what the “big picture” looks like. The “big picture” is just an illusion. Forever is just a series of nows.

Instead of asking yourself “Why am I here?” What you need to ask yourself each day is: “Why am I here today?”

Not: “What am I meant to do with my career?” Not: “What should my 5 year plan look like?” Not: “Who am I meant to be with?”

Those questions aren’t irrelevant, but they work themselves out on their own. One day you find the listing for the job you’re meant for. One day you’ll meet the person you’re meant for. It will just happen. That’s how you’ll know it’s right: because it’s happening. It’s really that simple.

So forget only working on one, singular purpose. When you’re really living, your purpose changes all the time. You have many different purposes, and the more you begin to realize this, the more fulfilled you will be.

Sometimes your day’s purpose is to chip away at your big, lifelong goals. Sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s to relax, enjoy the sunset, spend time with people you love, waste time surfing blogs, taking pictures, trying new food.

Sometimes it’s being sad, feeling unworthy, being ill, and healing.

The things we usually refer to as failures and setbacks? There are lessons in each of these things. The very lessons that instruct us on how to live the full lives we were meant for.

How do we know we were meant for them? Because we want them. If all we wanted was to be robotic, emotionless productivity machines, we wouldn’t have the itch to explore and wonder and try. We wouldn’t be tired or fatigued or need rest or want to cry.

Those questions aren’t irrelevant, but they work themselves out on their own. One day you find the listing for the job you’re meant for. One day you’ll meet the person you’re meant for. It will just happen. That’s how you’ll know it’s right: because it’s happening. It’s really that simple.

So forget only working on one, singular purpose. When you’re really living, your purpose changes all the time. You have many different purposes, and the more you begin to realize this, the more fulfilled you will be.

Sometimes your day’s purpose is to chip away at your big, lifelong goals. Sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s to relax, enjoy the sunset, spend time with people you love, waste time surfing blogs, taking pictures, trying new food.

Sometimes it’s being sad, feeling unworthy, being ill, and healing.

The things we usually refer to as failures and setbacks? There are lessons in each of these things. The very lessons that instruct us on how to live the full lives we were meant for.

How do we know we were meant for them? Because we want them. If all we wanted was to be robotic, emotionless productivity machines, we wouldn’t have the itch to explore and wonder and try. We wouldn’t be tired or fatigued or need rest or want to cry.

When you ask yourself: “Why am I here today?” you learn how to live in today.

When you ask yourself: “Why am I here today?” will the answer be to complain, or to dwell, or to worry? Will it be to nit-pick or judge or criticize?

Probably not.

Keep checking in with yourself each day.

You don’t have just one thing to accomplish here.

Your job isn’t just to build a life. It’s to live through it, too.

By Briana Wiest

The Amazing of 2016

Hello, it’s the last day of 2016, 31th December. I write this in good mood now, and I think this is good to end my year with good feeling. I really want to write experience in 2016 now. It’s amazing, like the roller coaster. Up and down. Happy and tears. Love and hate. Blessed and depressed too. And I grow up every day, 366 days. It’s not too long. Yeah, time flies sooooo fast.

In the first 2016, January. My life was perfect. I started my business, my first real business. But honestly it’s not really my first business. I was selling food, some accessories before too. I have job as accounting, this is not my first too. And the good thing, I have new family that is A Team Family. They help me to achieve my dreams. Sounds good, right? But honestly, I don’t know exactly what is my dreams. Then they help me, give me the direction to know what is the dream, that’s not only something you want to buy, but something important in life. I’m confused. I remember that I writed Baymax too in my list. AHAHAHA. Yeah, I guess that was cool to have Baymax in my life, to give me very comfortable hug.

Day by day I spent my day with work and business after work. Meeting with my team, come to training or personal coaching, and some event too. I’m not really good in my business, I blame it in myself. But I learn many things, not only about business but attitude, life guide, to never give up, love, care, respect, how to be friendly, how to respect another, communication, confident, to believe with myself – God – my team too, and many things.

Being entrepreneur is totally different with being the employee. No one can be mad at you when you’re not  doing right. No one can be mad at you. Only you, because you are the boss of your own business. It’s amazing to be with many people who support me everytime, in my bad and good days, My family, especially my mom and my brother, my sister too. Of course. And my new family, A Team Family. They’re never give up on me, they are always there to solve my problems. Their love is priceless.

In May 2016, I remember that one of the craziest moment in my life. I was going to another country alone. ALONE! I never do this before. and I never want to go to another city in Indonesia alone. I was going to VCON Malaysia 2016 in Penang. I really want to go there, so I didn’t really care to go alone, and I believe with my teams too. That was amazing. I never fly before. I don’t know anything. But God blessed me. I saved. and I got amazing experience in there. VCON is the biggest international conference, with more than 15.000 people from more than 170 countries. VCON is full of the magic, love, kindness, happiness, dreams, hope, and blessing. You should come to there and feel the amazing experince there.

Many things happen to me in 2016. I feel lost and found myself too. The bad thing in 2016 is myself, I was stubborn, or still stubborn ’till now. I was hurt some people around me. I lose some people too. That’s so bad when you lose someone who believe and you believe too. In 2016 I was becoming wonder woman, the woman who too much wondering. Some people believe me that I’m a lion, but the lion was too much sleeping in 2016. The sleeping beast inside me.

I really want to say sorry for my careless, my stubborn, I know that hurt many people and myself too. And I want to say thank to everyone who still love and keep believe me, keep walk behind me even when I’m not love or believe in myself. Thanks for every little moment, bad and good days. I wish we can and still make another and more beautiful memories together.

It’s gonna be the end of 2016. I know my plus and minus in me now, and I feel like the better person now, and I’m ready for the better day in very single day in my life too.

I’m on the stage that’s not too young or too old, and I’ve learnt many things. The one thing that I realized is to love yourself first, then you can be yourself, and will believe in yourself and really love your life. When you love your life, then you will do anything to live your life.

And I realized that you will get what you believe, and you will become what you believe. And I’m on high now to believe many great things will happen in 2017. I have the clear plans. and I’m very confident to get what I want. I’m gonna tell to myself and who ever read this. Don’t forget to love yourself. Share love and kindness. Great things come in thousand of little moments, and always choose what’s right instead of what’s easy. Keep your faith instead of doubt. Enjoy your journey everyday.

Happy New Year 2017. Be grateful and God blesses us.

Anxiety

Anxiety disorder is far more extensive than an ailment of someone who just worries too much. It is reflective of complete panic and it affects every aspect of life for those who suffer from it.

Anxiety has always been a part of my life. It isn’t something I talk about often, I suppose due to the negative connotation that comes with it. When people with anxiety get sick, they think the worst-case scenario of things.

Anxiety is more than just worrying, and to people who suffer from it — like I do —, the hardest part is self-acceptance. You accept yourself, you learn what triggers you and you learn how to deal with it.

Everyone else thinks people with anxiety is so irrational, but I understand you. You’re just afraid. Afraid of embarrassment. Afraid of disappointment. Afraid that the people you care about will walk away so you sit on my shoulder and constantly remind me of my flaws and insecurities because according to you, inducing fear in me will “protect” me, right?

I’ve always been anxious, always rushing around, and worrying, and being negative. My thoughts race between “I’m so alone” and “I’m having a heart attack” and sometimes go extreme with “I think I’m going to die.” Oh, and tears. There are always tears. It’s been clinically proven to be the same as the biological fight-or-flight response. Anxious bodies react to their triggers the same way non-anxious bodies would if someone pulled a gun on them and they felt the cold metal meet their forehead.

When it comes to being an anxious person, the best anyone can do is learn what triggers their anxiety and the coping mechanisms to help the moment they feel it escalating. It’s also important to find long-term strategies to prevent those feelings from building up. For people who may know and love an anxious person, the best you can do is a little research on how to be there for them. Ask about their triggers. Learn why saying things like “it’s not a big deal” or “that doesn’t make any sense” or “just try harder” are so, so problematic, and find productive alternatives. Ask what you can do to help. Listen. Most of the time you can’t look at someone and tell they’re feeling anxious, so if they choose to tell you rather than trying to bear the burden alone, really listen.

People will not always understand. What then are we to do? All I can do is be my own caregiver and get cozy with my anxiety since it’s not going anywhere. It’s not a battle I can win, but it’s not unmanageable either. In fact, I’m finding ways it works for me.

Katherine Sharpe’s Coming of Age on Zoloft describes her life and how she learned to live it with depression. She writes that the best counselor she ever had earned that title because of one question: how does your depression serve you? So I asked it too. How does my anxiety contribute to the parts of me that I like? If it disappeared tomorrow, what would it take with it and which of those things would I hate to see go? It makes me compassionate because I know despair. It makes me a better friend because I know loneliness. It makes me a better citizen because I have been met with reactions ranging from compassion to condemnation. It makes me stronger because it gives me something to spar with. And I’m working on letting go of fear of my anxiety in favor of being brave despite it.

If you’re still with me, thank you. It’s pretty cool that you wanted to know more. However, I doubt I’m the only one who by all accounts should be perfectly happy and yet isn’t, at least not all the time. Like I said, reasons are irrelevant.

I suppose the point of my little sermon is this: anxious people, and anyone else who struggles with mental health, are not weird, crazy, oversensitive or trying to be difficult. Mental health is nebulous, and we want better answers too. Believe me when I say we’re every bit as confused or frustrated or disappointed with ourselves as you’ll ever be. It’s not that we can’t handle the same things, but that we have to do them in our own ways, and it may take a little thinking outside the box (as in I meditated daily in full view of the public for over a year trying to “bring my thoughts back to center,” outside the box) to make it work. All we ask is for a little understanding, and if you don’t understand, for a little grace.

As for me, I’ll always be anxious. But I’m learning it doesn’t have to suck so much.

A Recipe For Growing Up

Add 4 scoops of “I’m sick of this shit.” Be at an age of transition, a time when you see yourself veering away from blackouts and vacuous sex but not necessarily running into the arms of adulthood. Maybe you only drink three glasses of wine now and sleep with people you like when you’re sober. That’s certainly progress from vomiting in the dorms and putting that stuff up your nose. Growing up is having a bad experience when you eat a pot brownie and deciding to never do it again. Growing up is no longer sleeping with the person who’s going to make you feel good for the 2.5 seconds while you orgasm and then make you feel like shit forever.

Add a limitless amount of resolution. You just can’t wake up another morning feeling disappointed in yourself. You must develop a learning curve, must alleviate all of this regret that’s weighing you down. Your physical weight may be small but your emotional weight is Carnie Wilson and Kirstie Alley eating sundaes at the beach. This requires a great amount of resolution. You spent so much time saying yes to everything and now it’s time to try out N-O.

Stir in 6 ounces of being realistic. Life doesn’t operate under extremes. After a particularly bad night, you can’t just be like, “I’m never going out again. I’m staying at home and reading books about art.” That won’t work. You’ll just end up betraying yourself in a week and feeling even worse than when you started. Growing up is a subtle process. Growing up means balance. One day you’ll realize that you haven’t hurt your body or heart in awhile and be like that Blink 182 song and say, “WELL I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP!”

Crush up 10 cubes of respect. Stop being such a little shit basically. Start to see your parents as flawed human beings and begin to feel bad about all of those years you were a churlish adolescent. Growing up means you have to see outside of yourself. No, you have to want to see outside of yourself. Realize that your viewpoint is limited and actively try to expand it. Empathize. Don’t reject things you don’t understand. Put yourself in someone else’s flats.

Sprinkle 10 hard decisions on top of the growing up casserole. Sometimes growing up means outgrowing some of your friends. It’s a hard fucking thing to realize that you have nothing in common with someone who used to be your everything. You want to go back to that time when it all made sense, when they made sense but you can’t. In the end, it’s usually a good thing. It’s a sign that you’re evolving and moving on to the next step. Growing up means giant grey areas. Friendships don’t go out with a bang. They slowly die. In a way, it’s much worse. The silence can be deafening.

Put your dish in the oven for 40 minutes. Spend that time mourning all of the bad decisions you made, all the friendships that died at the hands of time, and all of the things you must give up in order to love yourself about. Cry hard. Stop crying. Become hopeful and happy about the future. Say to yourself again (softly this time but with feeling), “Well I guess this is growing up.”

Take out of the oven and eat your fucking grown up casserole, you fucking grown up

By: Ryan O’Connell

Original Post: http://tcat.tc/ZTThnx

7 Steps To Being Confident

1. Love Yourself. There’s no liar bigger than your own mirror, your own scale, your own bank account. The numbers do not lie; where the mistrust comes is between the number and your eyes, your retina, your brain. Your lost illusion that these things can give you happiness, self-worth, and the love life you deserve should die off in a cape of sustained arrogance. Recognize your own accomplishments. Treat yourself like you want others to treat you.

2. Fund Yourself. Take help when necessary, but realize what is necessary. Get off your family’s cell phone plan. Buy your own drinks. Tithe to the Church of Savings. Don’t simply prepare for the worst; act like it has already happened. Demand more from your work and relish in a job which demands more of you. Plan long. Keep leftovers. Pack a lunch.

3. Prepare Yourself. Pick up jumper cables, a credit report, extra batteries, distilled water, antifreeze, the number of a free clinic, a money clip in your glove compartment, a list of jobs to apply for, renter’s insurance, good friends, canned soup, a Costco membership, toilet paper in bulk, condoms, a coupon book, board games, candles, a lengthy novel, directions to the nearest ER, and an extra pair of underwear.

4. Treat Yourself. Know what you want and fight for it. What you want is not to stare at your Newsfeed and think of quips to your ex’s latest hobby. What you want is not watching House of Cards until strangling you in your dreams (unless that’s your thing). What you want is outside. What you want requires earning the respect of others, perhaps even people you do not respect. What you want is currently being guarded by a million rude bosses and lazy co-workers and douchebag friends who just want to smoke weed and watch Charles Ramsey be auto-tuned. Go get it and love it. Only be disappointed if it came easy.

5. Work Yourself. Ignore the sweat on your brow, the wrinkle in your brain, the synapses of annoyances being fired off like artillery shells. Work is good. Work leads to fun. Work smothers the feeling you should be doing something else instead of nothing because you are doing something. Do it because you need to. Do it because you can’t stand owing anyone money. Do it because the relief of standing on your own foundation is second only to resting afterwards.

6. Teach Yourself. You will forget reading this. You will forget the next thread on Reddit or the latest news article telling you someone did something in Syria and it’s bad. Take notes. The mere action of translating the world through your own eyes forces them a tad deeper into your mind. Keep a journal when watching the news, when visiting museums, when talking to the mechanic. Knowledge does not seep into you; it is water and you are oil. Do not emulsify yourself from the world.

7. Better Yourself. Go running. Floss. Drink more water. Take vitamins. Buy food that does not come in a box. Do push-ups. Wake up at an AM hour. Do not sleep away your weekends. Stop Googling that spot on your arm. Read books. Learn an instrument. Think of others. Stop blaming other people. Stop blaming yourself. Turn your strengths against your weaknesses. Turn your hatred of every missed word or tarnished day into the next day. Do not merely need to do better; actually do better.

By: Ben Branstetter

http://tcat.tc/16egbP9