A Recipe For Growing Up

Add 4 scoops of “I’m sick of this shit.” Be at an age of transition, a time when you see yourself veering away from blackouts and vacuous sex but not necessarily running into the arms of adulthood. Maybe you only drink three glasses of wine now and sleep with people you like when you’re sober. That’s certainly progress from vomiting in the dorms and putting that stuff up your nose. Growing up is having a bad experience when you eat a pot brownie and deciding to never do it again. Growing up is no longer sleeping with the person who’s going to make you feel good for the 2.5 seconds while you orgasm and then make you feel like shit forever.

Add a limitless amount of resolution. You just can’t wake up another morning feeling disappointed in yourself. You must develop a learning curve, must alleviate all of this regret that’s weighing you down. Your physical weight may be small but your emotional weight is Carnie Wilson and Kirstie Alley eating sundaes at the beach. This requires a great amount of resolution. You spent so much time saying yes to everything and now it’s time to try out N-O.

Stir in 6 ounces of being realistic. Life doesn’t operate under extremes. After a particularly bad night, you can’t just be like, “I’m never going out again. I’m staying at home and reading books about art.” That won’t work. You’ll just end up betraying yourself in a week and feeling even worse than when you started. Growing up is a subtle process. Growing up means balance. One day you’ll realize that you haven’t hurt your body or heart in awhile and be like that Blink 182 song and say, “WELL I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP!”

Crush up 10 cubes of respect. Stop being such a little shit basically. Start to see your parents as flawed human beings and begin to feel bad about all of those years you were a churlish adolescent. Growing up means you have to see outside of yourself. No, you have to want to see outside of yourself. Realize that your viewpoint is limited and actively try to expand it. Empathize. Don’t reject things you don’t understand. Put yourself in someone else’s flats.

Sprinkle 10 hard decisions on top of the growing up casserole. Sometimes growing up means outgrowing some of your friends. It’s a hard fucking thing to realize that you have nothing in common with someone who used to be your everything. You want to go back to that time when it all made sense, when they made sense but you can’t. In the end, it’s usually a good thing. It’s a sign that you’re evolving and moving on to the next step. Growing up means giant grey areas. Friendships don’t go out with a bang. They slowly die. In a way, it’s much worse. The silence can be deafening.

Put your dish in the oven for 40 minutes. Spend that time mourning all of the bad decisions you made, all the friendships that died at the hands of time, and all of the things you must give up in order to love yourself about. Cry hard. Stop crying. Become hopeful and happy about the future. Say to yourself again (softly this time but with feeling), “Well I guess this is growing up.”

Take out of the oven and eat your fucking grown up casserole, you fucking grown up

By: Ryan O’Connell

Original Post: http://tcat.tc/ZTThnx

7 Steps To Being Confident

1. Love Yourself. There’s no liar bigger than your own mirror, your own scale, your own bank account. The numbers do not lie; where the mistrust comes is between the number and your eyes, your retina, your brain. Your lost illusion that these things can give you happiness, self-worth, and the love life you deserve should die off in a cape of sustained arrogance. Recognize your own accomplishments. Treat yourself like you want others to treat you.

2. Fund Yourself. Take help when necessary, but realize what is necessary. Get off your family’s cell phone plan. Buy your own drinks. Tithe to the Church of Savings. Don’t simply prepare for the worst; act like it has already happened. Demand more from your work and relish in a job which demands more of you. Plan long. Keep leftovers. Pack a lunch.

3. Prepare Yourself. Pick up jumper cables, a credit report, extra batteries, distilled water, antifreeze, the number of a free clinic, a money clip in your glove compartment, a list of jobs to apply for, renter’s insurance, good friends, canned soup, a Costco membership, toilet paper in bulk, condoms, a coupon book, board games, candles, a lengthy novel, directions to the nearest ER, and an extra pair of underwear.

4. Treat Yourself. Know what you want and fight for it. What you want is not to stare at your Newsfeed and think of quips to your ex’s latest hobby. What you want is not watching House of Cards until strangling you in your dreams (unless that’s your thing). What you want is outside. What you want requires earning the respect of others, perhaps even people you do not respect. What you want is currently being guarded by a million rude bosses and lazy co-workers and douchebag friends who just want to smoke weed and watch Charles Ramsey be auto-tuned. Go get it and love it. Only be disappointed if it came easy.

5. Work Yourself. Ignore the sweat on your brow, the wrinkle in your brain, the synapses of annoyances being fired off like artillery shells. Work is good. Work leads to fun. Work smothers the feeling you should be doing something else instead of nothing because you are doing something. Do it because you need to. Do it because you can’t stand owing anyone money. Do it because the relief of standing on your own foundation is second only to resting afterwards.

6. Teach Yourself. You will forget reading this. You will forget the next thread on Reddit or the latest news article telling you someone did something in Syria and it’s bad. Take notes. The mere action of translating the world through your own eyes forces them a tad deeper into your mind. Keep a journal when watching the news, when visiting museums, when talking to the mechanic. Knowledge does not seep into you; it is water and you are oil. Do not emulsify yourself from the world.

7. Better Yourself. Go running. Floss. Drink more water. Take vitamins. Buy food that does not come in a box. Do push-ups. Wake up at an AM hour. Do not sleep away your weekends. Stop Googling that spot on your arm. Read books. Learn an instrument. Think of others. Stop blaming other people. Stop blaming yourself. Turn your strengths against your weaknesses. Turn your hatred of every missed word or tarnished day into the next day. Do not merely need to do better; actually do better.

By: Ben Branstetter

http://tcat.tc/16egbP9

5 Things To Remember When It Seems Like Everyone Else Is More Successful Than You Are

Just remember that the grass ain’t always greener on the other side, it’s green where you water it.

Thought Catalog

Most of us have been there at one point or another… unless you’ve never encountered a more successful or talented person than your fantastic self. Or you have a suspiciously healthy outlook on life. Either way, after the post-grad years are over, it can be tough to find common ground with those friends who now possess envious jobs and the kind of lifestyle you feel you may never achieve. (You know, those engaged, married, prosperous, healthy, happy friends.) But guess what… it’s okay! We’re human. We’re competitive. We can’t help wanting something seemingly better than what we have. But that being said, accepting this fact isn’t your only option. There’s a few things we can keep in mind to alleviate some of these natural insecurities (and to avoid any episodes of drunk/ugly crying) when hanging with your possibly deserving, but still enviably, successful BFFs.

1. Your job actually doesn’t define…

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9 Things You Don’t Have To Have

For all the people..

Thought Catalog

m a n d o l i nm a n d o l i n

1. An opinion.

We form opinions about everything. People. Food. Countries. Religions. Music. It is human nature. Opinions, by their very nature, involve judgments. The problem with opinions is that we usually form them without being fully armed with the facts. Or we form them based on emotion or a limited perspective. How many times have you made a judgment about someone or something only to later learn that you were wrong?

Having an open mind allows you to reserve judgment. Reserving judgment is liberating. You can establish relationships and open yourself to experiences you might otherwise have prematurely dismissed.

2. A cause.

Pink ribbons. Yellow bracelets. Ice buckets. Everywhere you turn someone is promoting a cause. I am not diminishing the importance of these. They give people a sense of community and purpose while raising money for worthy endeavors.

But how…

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16 Unconventional Ways To Make Your Daily Life More Peaceful

Thought Catalog

Screen Shot 2014-06-27 at 11.59.54 AMJ. Thorn Explains It All

When all is said and done, my life is pretty relaxed. People don’t expect me to say that, but it’s true. The only stress I have is the unnecessary stress I make for myself. That is to say: I realized that a lot of whether or not you enjoy your day-to-day life has to do with the minute, often overlooked details. We’re so busy worrying about the big picture that we lose sight of what matters, what’s right in front of us. (And by “we,” I mean, that’s exactly what I did, to an extremely unhealthy degree, for many years.)

I mean every one of these points from the bottom of my heart. They may not all be applicable to your life, but could help if you’re in need of ideas. They have all worked for me and I hope they do for you as well.

1. Redefine…

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When You’re Running Out Of Reasons To Be Thankful, Be Thankful For This

It’s crazy how people tend to think that we are facing the same battle when the truth is, we all have different ways of living and different fights to face.

Thought Catalog

Let’s just be thankful for at least one thing in life since we can’t be thankful for everything.

Have you ever felt thankful for being the only child in the family? Where you’d be able to get all the love, all the attention. Or have you ever felt thankful for having siblings? Where you’d never feel alone, where you’d have your sisters or brothers to be with you. Have you ever felt thankful for being that child to always get what you want? That one child who always get away when in trouble. That one child who knows how to take care of themselves. That one child who helps the parents. That one child who never causes any trouble. That one child who knows the difference between right and wrong. That one child who never does bad things behind their parents’ back. That one child whom everyone is proud of…

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Be Thankful To The Person Who Broke Your Heart

Indeed

Thought Catalog

This goes out to everyone who has ever had their hearts broken and are still picking up the pieces on their own.

Everyone has a different story of their heartbreaks, whether it be your significant other who cheated on you or their parents were not happy with the two of you dating, both of you were always fighting due to misunderstandings or simply one of you fell out of love for the other. No matter what you went through or who your significant other is or was, you should learn how to be thankful to them.

“But why would I be thankful to someone who broke my heart, made me cry and miserable?” you might ask. The main reason to thank them is that, because of them, you will be molded into a more mature and stronger person than you were, without realizing it they are the factors in your…

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